Bill Dauterive

Bill Dauterive (voiced by Stephen Root) is a character in the animated series King of the Hill. His full name is William Fontaine de la Tour D’auterive. Bill is a Sergeant in the United States Army, and serves as a barber at Fort Blanda near Arlen.

Bill hails from a wealthy Cajun family and lived in Louisiana until he was six years old. In Episode 6.6 ("A Beer Can Named Desire") Bill and his friends visited his family's estate, "Chateau d’Haute Rive."

Bill is arguably the most pathetic character in the series. He is overweight, bald, socially awkward, has poor hygiene habits and even poorer self-esteem. Much like the narrator in The Raven, Bill pines for his ex-wife, Lenore. For many years Bill held on to the faint hope that Lenore would come back to him before finally coming to terms with his wife’s departure. As a consequence of his divorce, Bill tends to become extremely attached to people or objects for whom he has affection, almost to the point of suffocation. In spite of his drawbacks, Bill can be inspirational at times. Boomhauer was once pulled out of a deep depression by an encouraging speech from Bill. He also dated former Texas governor Ann Richards for a short time.

The cause for Bill's slovenly and overweight conidtion was briefly thought to have stemmed from his involvement as an Army test subject from 1982-1984. The drugs administered in the test were intended to create an elite group of arctic commandos with walrus-like capabilities that would be deployed in the event of war if the Soviet Union were to invade the United States via Alaska. It was later discovered that Bill was injected with placebos.

In high school, Bill was Arlen High's career leader in touchdowns, and held the distinction for over 20 years.

Like his friends and high school classmates Hank Hill, Dale Gribble, and Boomhauer, he frequently drinks Alamo beer in the alley behind Hank's house. Bill once salvaged a couch discarded by Kahn which was then used by Bill, Hank, Dale and Boomhauer in the alley.

Quotes

 * "You can't blame Hank for being attached to his truck. He loves it. And that's what you do when you love something -- you cling to it so it doesn't try to run away."
 * "I’m so depressed I can’t even blink."
 * "I know where you are, you're in hell now, Boomhauer. You're in a dark tunnel, and you're afraid to go in because there's a train coming at you, carrying a cart load full of heartbreak.  But all you can do is let it hit you, and try to find your legs.  I know.  I've taken that hit more times than I can remember.  Look at me, I'm fat, I'm bald, and every day I'm just gonna wake up fatter and balder.  But every day, I manage to drag this fat, bald, bastard out of bed and into the alley. And this weekend I'm going to wait outside a women's prison and the first thing those lady cons are gonna see after being released is me.  Am I gonna get one?  Experience says no.  Will I be there next weekend?  If I'm alive you better believe it.  So what you've got to do is go home, shave, wash off some of that cologne, and get yourself into some strange woman's bed!" –Bill's speech to Boomhauer, from Episode 6.20 ("Dang 'ol Love")

Trivia

 * The character is named after King of the Hill writer and producer Jim Dauterive.