Jake Harper

Jacob David "Jake" Harper is a fictional character portrayed by Angus T. Jones in the American sitcom Two and a Half Men.

Background
Jake is ten years old at the start of the series. A recurring theme with his character is having really low grades and eating a lot. He is a reasonably nice kid but he's also lazy and unmotivated, particularly when it comes to his schoolwork (he barely passed into middle school) and he does seem to lack common sense as is evidenced many times in the series. Alan once hoarded money from his chiropractic clinic by saying he couldn't count on Jake to support him when he grew old, saying, "The only hope for him is if missing the toilet becomes a professional sport." His grandmother Evelyn has said she will pay for Jake's college education and buy him a car when/if he gets into a university, but she also discovered that, somewhat surprisingly, Jake is an excellent cook, which might be a viable career path for the food-loving lad. Jake also likes to undertake expensive hobbies and then give up on them, which annoys Alan because he has to pay for them under his child support agreement. When Alan fell into a depression after his second divorce, Jake told his father that he loved him but added, "You're my dad...I pretty much HAVE to love you."

Contrary to popular belief, Jake does not sing the intro song and the "half men" refers to the fact that Jake is "half an adult". While Jake is one of the three central characters, he is featured less than Charlie Harper and Alan Harper and there have been some episodes where he is not in any central storylines and is only heard from briefly. Alan once told a date that his ex-wife Judith has primary custody of Jake, which explains where Jake is when he's not around his father and uncle.

Jake can also play the guitar. Originally it was a form of rebellion, but it eventually became a hobby. When he first introduced his guitar skills into the show he wasn't very good, and the only song anyone has ever seen Jake play in the show is Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water", and he played it on Charlie's piano. In the sixth season Jake finds out exactly how Judith's pregnancy came to pass; at first he doesn't want to believe it but soon does. Throughout the sixth season no one knows that Jake found out what happened between Alan and Judith---except Charlie---because Jake wanted to make sure it wasn't the truth but Charlie told him it was. Jake thinks its cool because he wants to see Judith's reaction if his half sister is his full sister. Jake looks up to his Uncle Charlie as a father figure and always goes to Charlie with his problems instead of his father Alan. To Jake, Charlie is a better role model because he gives Jake lots of advice about girls. Jake sometimes repeats the things Charlie tells him in front of his mother which irritates her and causes animosity between Charlie and Judith.

Robin Newberry
An unseen character, she was a one episode feature when she provided Jake with a cup cake. Alan got really upset that Jake went to Charlie for "cup cake advice" which could have been meant as a euphemism about sex. She broke up with Jake, which made him start to bake his own cup cakes.

Wendy Cho
Though never seen on the series, Wendy was Jake's first real girlfriend. Their relationship began at Wendy's party in season 3's "Just Once with Aunt Sophie", after Charlie gave Jake advice on how to approach her. She broke up with him in season 4's "A Pot Smoking Monkey"; Jake tells Charlie it's because she's in advanced classes and he's in remedial classes. It was mentioned she was of Chinese descent, plays violin, and doesn't like sports.

Taylor
Jake developed a crush on a girl named Taylor in season 4's "Release the Dogs." This was, however, made awkward by the fact that Charlie made out with Taylor's mom even after promising Jake otherwise.

Sophie
In season 4's "Tucked, Taped, and Gorgeous," Jake became smitten with a girl named Sophie (Kay Panabaker), who is the daughter of Alan's gay friend Greg. They presumably stopped seeing each other because Jake accused Alan of "breaking up with" Greg after the latter found Charlie "attractive."

Nicole O'Malley
Also never seen in the series, Nicole was described as the "hottest girl in [Jake's] class" in season 5's "Kinda Like Necrophilia". After being dumped by his previous girlfriend, Jake seeks advice; Charlie tells him to call up Nicole. Taking this advice, Jake asks Nicole to the winter dance. Nicole is a bit confused about who Jake is; he explains that he is the one with the big head who sits next to her in geometry.

Milly
Jake had developed a crush on the daughter, Milly (Hayley Erin), of a woman Charlie dated but whose name Charlie cannot remember in season 5's "Winky-Dink Time". In an attempt to get Milly to like him, Jake sets up a double-date; himself and Charlie with Milly and her mother. The date does not end well, especially when Jake reveals that Charlie had forgotten Milly's mother's name. Milly is into Gwen Stefani (whom Jake believes is a band) but against dodgeball. Jake tries to impress her by telling her he plays guitar in a band.

Celeste Burnett
In season 6's "The Mooch At the Boo", Charlie spots Jake spying on the neighbor girl, Celeste, who turns out to be the daughter of fictional NFL great Jerome Burnett (Michael Clarke Duncan). A reluctant Charlie helps him break the ice with her, only for Jake and Celeste to disappear together all afternoon. When Charlie and Jerome return to the Burnetts' house, they are shocked to find Jake and Celeste kissing on the front porch. It was later explained by Jerome that Jake was a "perfect gentleman" to her and "she wanted to kiss him," which puzzles Charlie. Celeste is mentioned, but not seen, in "The Two-Finger Rule" as Jake's girlfriend, but Charlie, Alan, and Jerome share the opinion that Celeste is dating Jake to punish Jerome.

Janine
Jake is often shown to have an age-inappropriate taste for older women, such as the cocktail waitress Janine (Emily Rose) in season 6's "Thank God for Scoliosis." Janine had also caught Charlie's eye at the time, however Jake is the one who has any success.