Charlie Harper (Two and a Half Men)


 * This article is about the Two and a Half Men character, for the musician see: Charlie Harper

{{Infobox character
 * name       = Charlie Harper
 * series     = Two and a Half Men
 * image      = [[Image:CharlieHarper.jpg|235px]]
 * caption    = Charlie in one of his famous bowling shirts.
 * first      = "Pilot"
 * last       =
 * cause      =
 * creator    = Chuck Lorre
 * portrayer  = Charlie Sheen
 * episode    = 115
 * nickname   =
 * alias      =
 * gender     = Male
 * age        = 40

}} Charles Francis "Charlie" Harper is a fictional character from the CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men. He's the brother of Alan Harper and the uncle of Jake Harper. Charlie formerly wrote jingles for living, his most famous composition being the Maple Loops song, and became a successful children's music singer named "Charlie Waffles" when the jingle business dried up. The character of Charlie Harper is loosely based on Charlie Sheen, the actor who portrays the character. (In addition, it is the second character that has the same first name as Sheen, who had previously portrayed deputy mayor Charlie Crawford in Spin City.)
 * born       =
 * death      =
 * specialty  =
 * occupation = Jingle Writer, Children's singer
 * title      =
 * callsign   =
 * family     = Alan Harper (brother) Evelyn Harper (mother) Teddy (step-father; deceased)
 * spouse     = Mia (ex-fiancee)
 * children   =
 * relatives  = Jake Harper (nephew) Gloria (half-sister}
 * residence  = Malibu, California
 * religion   =
 * nationality =
 * imdb_id    = 0031990

Charlie prides himself on being the #1 bachelor in Malibu and drives a Mercedes (formerly a Jaguar). His lifestyle consists of living in a two-story Malibu beachfront home, drinking excessively, smoking cigars, constant womanizing, a full-time maid/housekeeper, gambling, and wearing expensive bowling shirts and shorts the vast majority of the time. Charlie sleeps in constantly, money "falls into his lap", and lives life on his own terms - one of free spirited debauchery.

History
When Charlie's mother Evelyn was pregnant with him, his parents thought that he was going to be a girl, since the echo showed no signs of a penis. According to Evelyn, Charlie was always "a little drama queen" when he grew up. After his father died, Charlie and Alan had three step dads. First, a man named Harry Luther Gorsky, who left Charlie and Alan's mother for a young woman, Charlie refers to him as "a little tyrant". Second was a twitchy gay man from Texas who called him and Alan buckaroos. Third, there was a fat guy with a carpet business, who Charlie liked the most because he had "a grateful daughter".

When Charlie was young, he was ashamed of his younger brother Alan, and when Alan had his first school day, Charlie told everyone at school that Alan was his shaved monkey (he later explained he did this because he always wanted a shaved monkey). He also gave his brother full-time wedgies and annoyed him whenever he could. Charlie drank a lot when he was a teenager, and constantly ran away, nevertheless his mother didn't mind because he always came back. Charlie constantly bemoans Alan and Jake's presence in his house but generally seems happy that they're around, because they are the only people who've known him for a long time and remain in his daily life. When Alan was surprised to find Charlie didn't have their mom's cell phone number in his contacts list, Charlie told him "If I can't eat it, bang it, or bet on it, it's not in my phone."

On a later episode it is shown Charlie does get his mother's number, in fact he has it on speed dial 666 as shown in the quote from the episode.

Love life
Charlie's love life is a recurring theme in his character - he is a drunken womanizer that has engaged in decades of frequent one night stands, prostitutes, booty calls, and "relationships" of short duration, in stark contrast to his brother Alan's inability to garner much female attention. Even though Charlie usually never calls any of his girlfriends again after he had sex with them, there are a few relationships on the show that lasted longer than one night, notably his neighbor Rose, who continues to stalk him after they spent one night together, and Jake's ballet teacher Mia, who Charlie was actually in love with, and almost married in Las Vegas. In Season 5, he pursued relationships that were a change of pace for him, including one with a respected judge played by Ming-Na and later with a substantially older single mother/author, but he later blew it with both women.

Rose
Charlie and Rose spent one night together, a little before the show started; after this, Rose became increasingly obsessed with Charlie. She usually spends time at his beachhouse when Charlie and Alan are gone, and when they come back they usually find a surprise, such as cabinets that are glued shut. Rose demonstrates her obsession with Charlie in numerous ways: she names her boyfriends Charlie; she encourages them to wear the same kind of bowling shirts Charlie usually wears; she has called all of her five ferrets Charlie. Charlie is usually charmed by Rose, but isn't interested in a relationship with her, even though Berta thinks they are a good couple together. When Rose decided to leave to go to London Charlie believed that she was only pretending in order to get him into a relationship with him; after she really left, Charlie realized that he made a horrible mistake by letting Rose go. He then went to London to meet her but quickly returned home when Rose started talking about his moving there and starting a family together. Rose has since returned to Malibu and continues to stalk Charlie. There is a chance of a relationship between the two in the future.

Linda
Beginning in the fifth season, Charlie started to date Linda (Ming-Na), a judge and professor of his own age. Their relationship ended though, in the middle of the same season.

Mia
Mia is a ballet teacher who Charlie had a crush on, and was engaged to for a short while. Charlie decided not to marry Mia, so that Alan and Jake could stay with him; only to find out that Alan married Kandi and moved out. Charlie later became sexually reckless and depressed because he found out Mia was going to marry someone else.

Kandi
Charlie had a very brief relationship with Kandi before they broke up, and she married his brother, Alan.

"Courtney" (Sylvia)
Charlie also fell for his future stepsister, "Courtney", and after agreeing to stop seeing her due to their relationship to each other, he lends her a substantial amount of money and proposes moments before they become step-siblings. Charlie is heart-broken to learn that she is actually a con artist named Sylvia, but he apparently retains feelings for her, telling her that he will "wait" for her (to get out of prison).