Headlines (Jay Leno)

"Headlines" is a segment on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno airing weekly. The segment usually airs on Monday, though at times instead of airing on Monday it airs on Tuesday. Viewers submit funny newspaper headlines from all over the United States. They include interesting typos as well as odd photographs and advertisements, poor translations, stories highlighting "dumb criminals", and amusing pairings of names in wedding announcements. Other items submitted include pages from telephone books, brochures, and food menus.

Examples

 * A handgun advertisement that was recently shown said, "'Protect your loved ones now' with Looney's Concealed Handgun Courses!"
 * "Crocodiles go hungry due to shortage of tourists."
 * "Federal Agents Raid Gun Store, Find Weapons"
 * Some marriage announcements include the "Long/Short" wedding and the "Hardey/Bouyes" wedding.
 * "A Forest Hill woman called police to report that she had a stupid husband"
 * "A man was arrested for assaulting his sister whom he claimed had eaten his cheese doodles."
 * Various catalog pages with ridiculous clothes made for dogs and cats ("Your dog is not gonna wear that stupid hat!")

Tonight Show Headlines Submissions
Mail your Newspaper Headlines Clippings to:
 * The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
 * Headlines
 * 3000 W. Alameda Ave.
 * Burbank, CA 91523

Since the headlines must be legible on camera, only submit the actual clipping, please. Emails or faxes are NOT acceptable.