Goblins (webcomic)

Goblins is a weekly Dungeons & Dragons webcomic written and illustrated by Tarol Hunt (known by the nickname of Thunt). It is set in a humorously stereotypical fantasy setting, following the adventures of a group of goblin adventurers. In August 2006 Goblins joined Keenspot.


 * Tagline: Life through their eyes.

History
The comic debuted in black and white on July 1, 2005. Thunt began using color in the eighth strip. There are several different loci of action, and the author switches between them at points to increase dramatic tension. The adventuring party that was the focus of early strips has not been featured for some time, as the goblins and the humans in the city of Brassmoon have become the most important characters. The comic often employs meta humor related to Dungeons & Dragons, such as a cleric praying to the all-powerful Dungeon Master or characters arguing about whether or not they were subject to a random encounter. As the strip has progressed, the tone has become bleaker and the humor aspects have become less central than they were in early strips.

In order to encourage donations, Thunt created a goblin character named Tempts Fate. At the beginning of each donation drive, Tempts is faced with a series of obstacles and dangers; whether or not he survives, and the amount of panache with which he does, directly correlates with how much money the donation drive makes. Thunt has given out a variety of rewards for successfully reaching the goal, such as downloadable wallpaper and a new magic item for Tempts.

The goblin party
The main characters of the story who managed to survive the Goblin warcamp massacre and proceeded to become player characters with classes to get stronger. They are all currently 2nd level.

The Chief First Seen in Comic # 1

The chief of the goblins, mainly because he was named "Chief". When the goblin adventuring party was formed, he became a cleric. While he knows that he is not the best possible chief of the goblins, he accepts his role as chief to prevent a civil war prophesied by their fortune teller, "Young-and-Beautiful". He is the son of the great goblin chief "Kills-a-Werebear".

Big-ears First Seen in Comic # 1 Big-Ears was one of the best warriors of the goblin warcamp. He has shown prowess with multiple weapons, most notably hand-axes. When the goblin adventuring party formed, he became a paladin, to protect the innocent. After the goblins engaged Brassmoon's elite guard (and slaughtered most of them), Ears sensed the evil coming from Saral Caine's axe and attempted to lure him elsewhere to protect his companions. Saral Caine proved to be a powerful combatant who seemingly managed to bisect Big-Ears. However it is revealed that the evil from the axe is actually a demon sealed within by paladins and clerics and the weapon cannot hurt Paladins. Taking the Axe of Prissan, Big-Ears not only claims the weapon as his own but gains Saral Caine's armor. Complains-of-Names First Seen in Comic # 1

Complains-of-Names is the son of Thaco, and one of the best warriors in the clan. He was named Complains-of-Names because of his tendency to complain about other people's names. Due to his violent temper, he became a Barbarian in the goblin's party. He has sworn to kill Minmax. Fumbles/Señor Vorpal Kickass'o First Seen in Comic # 1

Fumbles was named for his clumsy nature. He is frequently known as "Senor Vorpal Kickass'o" because he created a player character alter ego. His character was created as 1/11th of each class, typically not possibile in D&D. He is currently being held prisoner in Brassmoon city. Thaco First Seen in Comic # 14

One of the elders of the clan, Thaco (Whose name is derived from THAC0, meaning To Hit Armor Class Zero) has been around since 2nd Ed AD&D, at least. He was imprisoned long ago in Brassmoon City and has some history with Goblinslayer, the nature of which has only been hinted at. After the goblins decided to form an adventuring party, Thaco decided to become a monk because of their ability to escape from traps. It was revealed that Thaco was destined to be the true chief of the goblin village, but turned the position down to avoid a civil war.

Notable Other Goblins
Notable Goblin characters who do not belong in the main party.

Dies-Horribly First Seen in Comic # 1

Named Dies-Horribly by the clan fortune teller, Dies-Horribly lives his life in fear. He lost an arm in battle, and has magical replacement, one that is attuned to his emotions. He was captured by the Viper clan of goblins, and is being used for their slave labor. Young-and-Beautiful First Seen in Comic # 1 - Died in Comic # 27

Wisewoman/Fortune-teller of the goblin warband, Young-and-Beautiful was responsible for the naming of all the goblins at birth, and she even named herself. A cleric who worshiped the goblin deity Maglubiyet, she was a staunch traditionalist. She survived the destruction of three previous warcamps by staying out of the fighting, but was eventually killed by Forgath while trying to flee.

The White Terror

A special goblin foretold to lead all goblins to dominion over the Earth, The White Terror was a goblin of the Viper clan born with two large, majestic wings. She was made leader of the clan when she came of age, and first tried to peacefully co-exist with other species, even setting up trade routes with humans and orcs. However, one day the humans became too fearful of her power and, after killing her family, attempted to burn her alive, causing burns to one side of her body and the loss of one wing.

The Adventurers
Adventurers who participated in the Goblin warcamp masssacre.

Living
Forgath First Seen in Comic # 3

Forgath is a cleric of Herbert, the Dungeon Master. He killed Young-and-Beautiful the Fortune Teller, but not before she planted some seeds of doubt in his mind, giving him a more sympathetic view of the goblins. He beat Thaco nearly to death, but underwent a change of heart and saved his life, for which Complains and Chief are prepared to grant him mercy if he doesn't get between them and Minmax. It has been prophesied by Young and Beautiful that he will die in battle with Kore. Minmax First Seen in Comic # 3

Minmax is a second level character with a speed of 60, 22 strength, and three more feats than he should have including both Dodge and Combat Reflexes, according to his stuff-about-people-we-don't-know papers. Traded in his ability to read for another +1 to hit, giving him a total bonus described only as "You don't wanna know". Was taught to use a bastard sword before his third birthday, and he knows 38 ways to kill a guy using only his thumb, but has to rely on Forgath for more mundane things such as starting a campfire and dressing himself. However, his wisdom score is quite low, and so he is constantly getting himself into scrapes. Every one of his skills is combat oriented.

Dead
Seth Bainwraith First Seen in Comic # 3 - Died in Comic # 22

Seth Bainwraith, the drow renegade who abandoned the evil of his birth and embraced the goodness of the surface, becoming a truly unique, tragic hero like his half-cousin Drizzt. Also, being shunned by the surface world added just the right amount of sadness and ironic tragedy to who he was. A coward and a bully, he hid in the old goblins' hut planning to let the other two drow risk their lives and emerge when the battle was nearly over to share in the spoils of victory, and attempted to kill three goblins who he thought were too old to fight for easy XP. He bled to death after losing a duel with Thaco.

Drowbabe First Seen in Comic # 3 - Died in Comic # 22

Drowbabe, whose real name was never revealed, did a very poor job of acting like a real woman--as Minmax commented, it was like she was created and controlled by a lonely, horny, teenage guy who had never kissed a girl and had no idea how women reacted realistically in any situation. As a first-level sorceress who (due to an error by the author) knew three first-level spells, she was perhaps the most powerful member of her adventuring group, and not only killed One-Eye with a Magic Missile, but nearly killed the three elder goblins by casting Sleep on them. However, Big-Ears' critical hit proved too much for her.

Drasst Don'tsue First Seen in Comic # 3 - Died in Comic # 25

Drasst was Drizzt's half-brother, and was the third renegade Drow in the adventuring party. He fought with two stumpy little scimitars, which matched his stumpy little frame. Sadistic and egotistical, he planned to torture Dies-Horribly to death to vent his frustration over being outwitted by Big-Ears. He cut off Dies' left hand, but Klik, apparently considering Dies a friend and Drasst an enemy, morphed into a 10 foot long bastard sword and killed Drasst.

New Characters
Baka

Seth's new character, who is now a Samurai and is currently traveling with the other dead Drow's new characters. All of them attempted to capture Dies-Horribly instead of just killing him, due to the magical hand Klik gave him. They lost him however, after he fell off a waterfall, due to getting shot in the shoulder by Tuck(which Baka explicitly ordered him not to do.)

Tuck

Drasst's new character, would appear to be either a Halfling or Elf archer, most likely a Rogue. His character is still only a few feet tall, and even his bow is bigger than him. After Baka and Yodette had cornered Dies-Horribly, he shot the Goblin and caused him to fall off the edge of a waterfall, which Baka had told him exactly would happen.

Yodette

Drowbabe's new character, who now actually has a name, and is apparently a human cleric or something similar. After telling Baka and Tuck that standing around wasn't going to make Goblin fall out of the sky and telling them it wasn't going to happen just to be ironic, Dies-Horribly fell into the stream they were standing in.

Others
Not-Walter First Seen in Comic # 4

Not-Walter is Herbert's Pit Fiend messenger boy. Loves to insult Minmax, calling him a "sniveling girl". His real name has yet to be figured out by the brave adventurers. Has to serve anyone who speaks his true name for eternity... but with Minmax's smarts, eternity might be how long it takes to guess it.

KLIK First Seen in Comic # 25

Klik appears to be a living, flying bowling ball with a mouth. The goblins purchased it from Hawl early on. It was hidden in a birdcage that Drasst knocked over by accident. Klik consumes metal, but blood burns it like acid. After Drasst attacked it on sight, it turned into a sword and helped Dies-Horribly take down the fiendish drow, though in the process it got burned so badly that Dies is uncertain that his mysterious new friend is still alive. Drasst, right before he died, summed up Dies-Horribly and Klik as "a weapon that can't be swung at anything that bleeds, held by an opponent that is too much of a coward to fight."

After getting dragged to a water source by Dies-Horribly, Klik eats the metal boot of a dead adventurer, recovers, and tries to keep Dies-Horribly from dying horribly. Due to its ability to consume metal armor and weapons alike, it may be the goblins' only hope against Kore's virtually impenetrable defenses and overwhelming offenses.

Kore First Seen in Comic # 10

Kore is a dwarven "paladin" from beyond the Godskull mountains. He is said to have single-handedly killed armies of orcs and ogres alike and has now added Crunk, Sticks, Hawl, Boulder, and several more orcs to his tally. Fights from behind a wheeled pavise with twin multi-crossbows (which are used in a fashion much like dual pistols), and is also handy with a pair of axes. Killed Targoth Bladebeard, the dwarven orphan, without mercy, as even potential evil must be eradicated. He came upon the goblin warcamp after it had been ransacked by Minmax and Forgath. After learning the location of the goblin village, he came upon two goblin elders, Asks Nonsense (who asks ridiculous questions) and Taps (who is blind and must use a walking stick). Kore unmercifully slaughtered both of them. Young-and-Beautiful referred to him as "the cursed one", and there has been some question about how he can still be a paladin after slaughtering innocents.

The Goblinslayer Captain of the army of Brassmoon city (a rank that he gained by killing the Head Sheriff and taking his home), he is a ranger who appears to be human except for the fact that the right half of his body heavily resembles a tree. After an ambush on Brassmoon by a group of radical orcs, Goblinslayer commissioned an "Elite Guard" whose sole purpose was to capture and torture all manner of monsters to ascertain ways of defeating them should they ever attack Brassmoon again. As one might guess from his title, he particularly enjoys torturing goblins and frequently comes across as being something of a psychopath, who justifies his actions towards his prisoners through racist reasoning: to him, creatures classified as 'monsters' are by definition evil. Fumbles is currently at his mercy, or at least what little there is left of it. Keeps a Yuan-ti by a power-restricting leash as a pet. Big Ears has stated that the Goblinslayer registers as highly evil to his Paladin ability to detect such, although the Yuan-ti does not. His real name is Dellyn.

Saral Caine A physically intimidating, large man part of the Brassmoon Elite Guard who seems to be of high rank, he has stone-grey skin and strange mechanical-looking armor, which is apparently part of his weapon. It has been implied that he is a mix of man and stone giant, which would explain his skin. Saral was the one who captured Fumbles when he snuck into Brassmoon. Possessed the Axe of Prissan, a weapon he stole from a Paladin he killed that amplifies the evil of a demon sealed inside to attract paladins. In addition Saral wears a belt buckle identical to the crest that both Chief and his father before him wear. Contrary to Goblinslayer, Saral does not seem to calculate his every act with the goal of gaining power in mind. His first instinct upon hearing a cry of pain in town was to go investigate, not simply walk away in order to make the local watch look bad. Nevertheless, Big Ears has stated that Saral is extremely evil.

Saves a Fox Another slave to the Viper clan, she is the only one who can keep K'seliss, the giant lizard-folk, in line. She seems to have comforted Dies Horribly, who is constantly terrified that he will, well, die horribly, by telling him that fate is not writ in stone. She was named "Saves a Fox" because she was supposed to do just that on the day of her fifth birthday. Not wanting to be chained by fate, she found that same fox on that same day and instead killed it. She keeps the fox's tail by her to remind her that she makes her own destiny. Although the White Terror's son Grem harbors feelings for her, her own towards him are unknown, but it is suggested that she hates all members of the Viper clan. Her combat skills are described as astounding by The White Terror's prophet, Riss.

K'seliss A member of the lizardfolk who is much larger and more intimidating than one would expect, though he doesn't seem to be particularly articulate. Even though he is a slave under The White Terror, he has a reputation for killing any slaves forced to pair up with him (his preferred method seems to be eating them.). The only other one who seems to be able to keep him in line is Saves a Fox. According to Fox, there are rumors that K'seliss is so large and brutish because a mad wizard mutated him and mixed in genes of orc or ogre inside of him.

Plot Summary
Book 1

A Goblin warcamp is forewarned of an impending attack from adventurers by their fortune teller, "Young and Beautiful" (She named herself - in reality, she is neither of those things) They get ready to stave off the attack, with Fumbles becoming a 1st level character (Senor Vorpal Kickasso - 1/11 of every PHB class) in order to help. The preparations are interrupted by Hawl, the orc trader, who trades a "bowling ball in a wooden cage" and assorted rubbish for some of the goblins best items.

Meanwhile, the adventurers are finding their way to the goblin camp. Forgath, the dwarven cleric accidentally summons a Pit Fiend unofficially named "Not-Walter" (A recurring character, who also starred in the mini-comic "Not-Walter Screams like a Little Girl"). The adventurers run, leaving Minmax, the dumbest but also the strongest fighter, alone to fight Not-Walter and his underlings. After killing one of the monsters, Not-Walter catches Minmax, and takes pleasure in describing the torments he's going to inflict on Minmax. However, he throws Minmax away in disgust, after he starts crying.

Eventually, they reach the goblin camp. The three drow adventurers head round to the other side of the camp, while Minmax and Forgath stay where they are, so to catch the goblins in a pincer-attack. Minmax and Forgath have an argument, resulting in Minmax taking a dive into a nearby lake. Unfortunately for Minmax, however, a huge tentacled monster, similar to the "Watcher in the Water" from the Lord of the Rings, grabs Minmax and swallows him whole. Forgath manages to rescue Minmax, stating only that "it had a soft body, lets leave it at that" in answer to Minmax's query of how he'd pulled off such an heroic feat.

Meanwhile, Hawl has gotten back to some sort of tavern, that seems exclusively for evil-aligned humanoids. He is playing cards, when, suddenly, the doorman's head is pulled through the viewing slot in the door, and his neck is broken. This allows Kore, who was on the other side of the "Two inch thick dwarven steel" door, access to the keys that the doorman was wearing around his neck. Kore gets into the tavern, and proceeds to massacre the occupants, including Hawl, and Targoth Bladebeard, a dwarven orphan who was adopted by Hawl after Hawl had killed his parents. Kore then proceeded to take Hawl's map of how to get to the goblin warcamp.

Back at the goblin warcamp, Minmax manages to breach the goblin's defences by coming up with his first truly smart plan. He topples a tree made of dead wood onto the goblins, impaling many, and scattering the rest. Minmax and Forgath manage to wipeout the remaining goblins, with the exception of Chief, who had hidden. Forgath goes to the camp to help the drow, while Minmax stays looking for Chief.

The drow, meanwhile, have attacked the other end of the camp. One-Eye and Big Ears manage to damage Seth Brainwraith with a cleverly constructed trap. In revenge, "Drowbabe" (Her real name is never revealed, except to those who bought the book) casts a magic missile, killing One-Eye.

Seth retreats into the old goblin's hut, looking for easy EXP. However, he instead finds Thaco, who proceeds to reduce Seth to -3 hitpoints, with the bet that he wouldn't be able to stabilize in 7 rounds, before he died.

However, before Seth can be killed off by another of the old goblins, Drowbabe arrives, and casts sleep. Unfortunatly for her, Big Ears comes in after the spell has been cast, and kills her to avenge his friend, One-Eye. Seth dies as well.

During the battle, Drasst tries to kill Big Ears, but is fooled by him into thinking that a bird feeder is another trap, similar to the one that hit Seth. In the confusion, Big Ears escapes, and Drasst becomes angry.

Meanwhile, Complains of Names has gone to Chief's rescue. He starts fighting Minmax, but quickly realises that he can't beat him in a straight fight. He retreats, after getting Minmax angry.

Forgath finds the fortune teller, who manages to place doubt in his mind - are the adventurers the "Good Guys"? Are the goblins really evil? - However, he eventually kills Young & Beautiful with a Cause Light Wounds to the face.

Drasst manages to find Dies Horribly, and decides to torture him to death, because he's still angry about Big Ears. He cuts off Dies' left arm, but in the process, releases the "Bowling Ball". This turns into Klik, which protects Dies, and turns into a 10ft long sword, killing Drasst. However, Klik is fatally allergic to blood, so Dies drags him to the lake to wash the blood off.

Meanwhile, Fumbles, under his new guise of 'Vorpal Kickasso,' attacks Forgath and Minmax. As is customary for him, however, Fumbles makes a severe fumble that sets off a two-page long chain-reaction. Believing the goblin to be harmless, the adventures turn their thoughts elsewhere, only for Fumbles to attack them yet again. This time he manages to severely humiliate (and cause great pain to) Minmax, before running off again screaming his catchphrase.

After Minmax recovers, the two adventures are quick to find the Poorly-Locked chest. Minmax opens it, only to be partially blinded by an ambush from Complains-of-Names. Furious, Minmax draws his sword to attack Complains, who responds by activating a powerful magical sword that was in the chest. Forgath quickly backs up his friend, but is attacked from behind by Fumbles, Chief and Big-Ears.

Forgath eventually fights off the three goblins, only to be ambushed from the side by Thaco, who slices a horn off of Forgath's prized helmet and wounds him in the arm. Chief, Thaco, Fumbles and Big-Ears attack in unison, but even so Fumbles is nearly killed by Forgath when Thaco stabs the dwarf through the leg. Furious, Forgath beats Thaco to a pulp, putting him at -8 hitpoints.

However, instead of killing the aging goblin, Forgath amazingly puts aside his hatred... and heals him, remarking: "I think we've made a terrible mistake."

Meanwhile, Minmax, scared and wounded, tries to escape Complains. He is soon trapped against a large, intimidating-looking wooden wall. Temporarily distracted by a large, poorly-written warning sign on the wall, Minmax is tackled from behind by Complains and crashes through the wood. He finds himself inside a sanctuary of sorts for the statues of past clan Chieftens.

Badly wounding Minmax, Complains thinks he has won and begins to taunt his foe, thinking it will frighten him. Instead, he takes it too far and simply angers Minmax, who pulls the statue of Chief's father, Kills-a-Werebear, over on top of Complains. Unable to reach his sword, Complains pulls his magical shield (complentary of the poorly-locked chest), over himself. Minmax strikes the shield with his sword, unwittingly setting off a spell that turns his sword into something akin to a living shadow. Forgath rushes to his friend's rescue, but is himself ensnared by the black tendrils.

Meanwhile, Fumbles lifts the statue up off of Complains just enough for him to roll out from under it and grab his sword. Instantly he is attacking the adventurers yet again, unaware of the events on the other side of the intimidating wooden-wall. He is stopped by Big-Ears of course, only to be hit in the face by the edge of Complain's "Shield of Wonder." Eventually, however, Complains is restrained by Chief and Fumbles, who drag him back to the broken wall.

The goblins manage to escape, leaving Minmax and Forgath to their fate.